i just turned 16 and just ran away from home to SF… old story often repeated. didn't know much about anything, but i did know that the dead kennedys, devo and blondie were fucking different and cool cause i'd heard their records back home from someone who had been to SF and brought the records back with them.

when i moved to the city the first people i met were some really great people in their early 20s who were into the greatful dead and other hippie shit. they knew i was outta place with them and told me i needed to go to the Mabuhay Gardens and the On Broadway. had no idea what they were talking about and didn't know anyone yet who i could go with.

i finally went to the Mab one night by myself… an all-ages show, which i heard wasn't a regular thing at this time (1983). a band called Flipper was playing that night. i remember thinking how stupid the name was cause all i could think of was the stupid 60s tv show about the dolphin. how fucking punk is that?

as soon as i entered the Mab, culture shock set in. i didn't know anyone, and i didn't talk to anyone the whole night. i just stood back mostly and observed. i was Luke Skywalker in the bar on Tattooine. weird creatures and sounds all around me. the band wasn't playing at the time, but house music was playing over the sound system… not fucking HOUSE music, but just some music, ya know. at least i guessed it was music… noise more like it at the time.

the music stopped, some people screamed “yeah!” and everyone started moving towards the stage front. the band walked onto the stage, and a natural circle had formed on the dance floor even before the band began playing. i was on the club side of the circle, facing the empty center, with a perfect view of the stage. i was thinkin kinda proudly to myself, “damn, your first punk show, and look at the view you got of the whole thing!”

the band picked up their instruments, tuned, or dis-tuned rather?, the singer yelled into the mic, the audience yelled and raised their beers in cheer, the band began their first song, and all fucking hell broke loose. the empty circle was immediately full of cacophony and confusion, and i was on the edge of it, wondering “what the hell is happening?” people behind me kept pushing me forward towards the swirling mass, i felt fists and elbows in my back and shoulders, and finally i was face down in the middle of the circle. someone picked me up by my jacket and threw me towards the crowd, outside of the circle. i ran through the crowd to the back of the audience, found a relatively quiet place in the back of the club with a less-than-pristine view of the stage, checked to make sure nothing was broken, and enjoyed the rest of the show from there.

after 45 minutes or so, the band took a break… i can't remember, maybe it was between bands, or maybe flipper was going to play more that night. after the lines at the bar died down, i bought a coke from the bartender. standing next to me was a lesbian girl with a big, high mohawk. she was standing at the bar drinking a beer and talking with another girl who i assumed was her girlfriend. i drank my coke next to them and checked out their clothes and hair and behavior. i'd never seen a girl with a mohawk, or a lesbian girl before, so i was cautiously curious about her. she looked at me a few times but really paid me no attention. in her left hand she was holding her skateboard by one of the trucks. her back was to the audience, and she was facing the bar and her girlfriend. from the audience, this totally drunk mother fucker came stumbling up towards the bar. he stopped half-way, and leaned to one side, then the other, then continued walking towards the bar. i backed away from the bar a few steps at this point cause i didn't want to talk to this drunken fool or even be near him. he walked right up behind the lesbian girl, and said something like, “hey, baby, lemme get ya a drink.” the girl didn't respond. i backed up a little more. he said it again a little louder, but this time he put his hand on her shoulder. at some point she must've put her beer down, cause when he touched her shoulder, she swung around immediately, holding her skate in both hands by the trucks, and popped this idiot RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES with the tail end of her deck. he was out cold instantly, and fell in slow motion backwards, stiff as a board, and hit the floor perfectly flat, like rigor mortis had already set in.

i swear to fucking god, it was just like the instant when Obie-Wan cut off that smuggler's hand, everything stopped. silence. looking at the drunkard lying there on the floor. then one second later, everything was like nothing had happened. the girl was talking again at the bar to her girlfriend with her beer in her hand. the music was playing. people were laughing. next to me, someone said to someone else, “yeah, that's kris kross. she's the toughest bull dyke around. she don't take no shit.” i have no clue what happened to the drunk fool. but i checked out kris kross a while longer as i finished my coke. i can't remember the rest of the gig. i haven't a clue what happened next or who played or how i got home.

but i do know this was my first punk show. and i learned about some important things that night: flipper, drunk punk, the pit, bull dyke, kris kross. i've never forgotten.

FIRST SHOW, WOW HUH? I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT QUITE WELL, THAT DUMBASS KEPT FUCKING WITH ME THROUGHOUT THE COURSE OF THE EVENING, HE DESERVED IT. YOU THINK I WAS A BULLDYKE THEN? YA OUGHTA SEE ME NOW! I TRADED IN THE SKATEBOARD FOR A HARLEY ROAD KING …HAHA!